Bush in Bogota

The sign top right says "Welcome to Bogota"

Dubya is headed south, and Colombian counterpart Uribe does not want anything bad to happen to the man who signs $4 billion cheques each year. Hence the tank roll out, swinging two elite troops up from the guerrilla-controlled southern plains, and preparing 22,000 military police to patrol not just the caravan route, but every corner of this city of 8 million.

Man is this embarrassing.

Leaving nothing to chance (after, say, yesterday's rock-throwing party at the National University: bring a balaklava and some spray paint and a few anti-imperialist slogans), Bogota's government has also decreed several other measures:

• "dry law," usually reserved for election weekends, is already in effect: no alcohol for sale until after W is gone -- then you can celebrate. The supermarkets tend to stretch ticker-tape across the refrigerator with "ley seca" scribbled on it to keep from having to restock. Wouldn't want anyone to be so drunk they accidentally let a bomb go, now would we?
• no back-seat motorcycle driving. Yes, this caught on first in Cali, where assassins were riding so often on the back of motorcycles (in the parrillero position) that a law was passed limiting two-wheeled machines to only one person. (Originally, the law said no two men on the motorcycles, but assassins started to wear wigs and dresses -- nothing better than a skirt for hiding a submachine gun.)
• no ciclovia. Bogota's famed 121 km of closed roadways, celebrated every Sunday and holiday, will not be open this weekend, because America is coming to visit. As a lot of comments on El Tiempo's website point out: what a shame that "Mr. Bush" won't get to be pleasantly surprised by a peaceful city free of car traffic, with hundreds of thousands of people riding their bikes.
• interrupted cell phone service. Some of the 1,086 gringos who requested visas for this trip have been down in Bogota already for several weeks, checking the sewer grates along the airport road (and installing satellite surveillance devices on each), hanging FBI cameras on light posts all along the caravan route, and spotting sniper positions. They are also bringing cell phone jamming technology, which, the government has warned Colombians, is going to make phone calls spotty on Sunday -- too bad for you! Bombers can't just phone it in.
  

National police have confirmed tapping alleged guerrilla communications with "orders for acts that alter the order." A number of workers syndicates are calling for demonstrations on Sunday morning to oppose Bush's presence in Colombia. As long as they aren't riding a bicycle, drinking, trying to call or sitting shotgun on a motorcycle, they don't see why not.